You chose to have children.
In doing so, you took on the responsibility for raising them to be polite, caring and cooperative. Our nations schools are filled with these unruly children, who not having any moral guidance or discipline, simply carry on as destructively as they do at home. Why not? No ones ever told them differently.
I’ve had so many young parents ask me how I manage to “control” my children, when theirs are so completely unruly. Having been in homes where children routinely jump on furniture, climb on kitchen counters, destroy their toys and disrespect their parents, I am struck by one thing. There are no boundaries set in these homes. When a 5 year old smacks Mommy HARD, when thwarted or upset, and Mommy doesn’t react, there is a serious problem. Children are allowed to fall asleep when they want, eat what they want, and say what they want, regardless of who they impact with their behavior. In talking with these parents, they tell me they want to be “friends” with their children. Many don’t believe discipline is necessary and that children somehow magically grow up to discipline themselves. My response to this is rubbish! I’ve seen computers damaged, VCR’s ruined, and furniture broken, all in the name of this “creative” form of parenting. The extreme self centeredness of these kids is alarming, If their needs aren’t gratified immediately., everyone within a one block radius can hear their displeasure. One friend of mine called me crying after her 4 year old daughter slapped her full in the face for refusing to go get her pizza. Sound extreme? Farfetched? It’s not. It’s been going on in American homes for a long time. What went wrong and can it be changed? What went wrong is fairly obvious to most people. Children need defined limits. They require routines, which give them a sense of safety and security. Above all, they need their primary role models to act like adults, and not like absent minded bigger kids. Can the behavior in these homes be changed? Yes. With consistency and hard work. This doesn’t mean changing from the Good Fairy into the Witch of Endor overnight. It took time to build this set of responses in your children, and it will take time and patience to change them.
Starting with smaller things first. I don’t want you jumping on furniture or climbing on counters. This is not a safe way to play. Why? Because I love you and don’t want you to get hurt. Two, because this is Mommy and Daddys home and you will learn to respect it. You must then set a consequence for not respecting these limits and enforce it consistently. If the child routinely leaves toys strewn everywhere without picking them up, warn them they will lose them the next time they’re left out. And do it! If your child damages something of yours, take away something of hers. Explain that damaging property has consequences, that it must be paid for. Set boundaries on your personal areas of the home, or personal items. Explain to
Computers are not a childs personal toy. to develop the negative behavior. It took time. a physical and psychological evaluation may be necessary. In doing so. considerate. You chose to have children. and your children need to be taught to respect that investment. intervention might be required.
. as I said. This means purses.” I’ve explained even adults have rules that we have to live by every day. Our nations schools are filled with these unruly children. “I’m your parent. If you are consistent. If you have a child that routinely hits out of anger. They are an expensive item still in many homes. wallets and your own grooming items are off limits. each time they get up. just prior to bed. respectful of each others feelings and property. A healthy family is a reflection of life as a whole. with an occasional family late night as a reward for cooperating. who not having any moral guidance or discipline. Set a story telling half hour aside with them. not only you. a swift hard swat to the bottom before placing in the corner works well. Establish regular mealtimes. If they cry and refuse bedtime. not your friend. remove it until they can show some understanding of why we don’t treat them this way. radios and TV’s. a stronger society and a better world. An hour before bed. If the child requests a drink or snack. Same for personal VCRs. Firmly return them to their rooms. Make sure there is no form of entertainment available. it will take time and patience to reverse them. I don’t approve of very young children having these items in the first place. there will be no playtime the next day. If the child is kicking and screaming. remove every toy they own. Why not? No ones ever told them differently. Very often they are simply a baby sitter for their parents. As I tell my boys. you took on the responsibility for raising them to be polite. Bedtimes need to be established. caring and cooperative.” “I love you. Being a strong disciplined parent means having the strength of character to care about how your child will impact society as they grow. If a young child has their own computer and abuses it.” “And that means that I have to make sure you behave in safe ways.
If your child hits you in anger. but anyone nearby. This sets limits an out of control child badly needs. Tell them they lose 15 minutes of playtime for each time you are disturbed. Tell them firmly that you are their parent and are NOT to be hit ever again. Raising happy healthy children keeps Americas promise of a better future. Even a corner will work. Loving. within a month you should see some major behavioral changes in your children. The next time a child strikes you in anger. simply carry on as destructively as they do at home. that you are someone people enjoy having around. bathe the child.your child that if they want you to respect their property. You get the item. you must move swiftly to stop this before it becomes a habit. pick them up to eye level. If not. not the child. There is an exception to this. The important thing is not to strike back in anger. As with tantrums. they must respect yours. teach them to say please and thank you. remove them from the room and place them in a quiet place. If you get hit again.